My paperwork has been submitted for my competency log stuff, which means I'll be a Leading Aircraftwoman soon. I'm rostered on to work a weekend in a couple of weeks, which is the real sign of promotion. A whole kitchen to myself for five meals! What's the worst that could happen? I'd better not dwell on that too long, because I'll get too nervous.
It's strange, knowing that it's been just over two years since enlistment, and I've broken the back of my service obligation. When I first signed up I thought that four years was an eternity in a job I had no real idea how to do or what to expect. I guess I'm not all the way there yet, and I feel like I've spent a year just learning how to do what I do comfortably enough to tell people with confidence that I'm a cook.
Yet when I speak to the people that have started a year or more after me, and watch the way the new cooks work, I can notice the difference between them and myself. I've been wearing the same rank as them for all this time, but it seems that suddenly they're asking me for help and instruction, and more often than not it's my name on the board where it says 'Duty Cook'.
The other LACs have been joking about how I'm more likely to get a reprieve from sandwich bar, now that I've moved up in the world. I don't know why making salads and sandwiches comes with such a stigma, perhaps because there's little to no cooking involved, or because you have to deal with customers face to face at the Officers' Mess, as opposed to hiding out the back if you're doing cook to order stuff or even just plating up the food. Working on sandwich bar actually makes me miss the buzz I get from dealing directly with customers, the same sort of energy I'd pick up on when I was waiting tables. It's too easy to forget that you're feeding fellow humans, rather than just producing food that gets taken away on plates by the stewards.
I still find it more stressful being duty cook than not, even though it shouldn't be anything to stress about. I guess it's that feeling of not being able to relax entirely until the whole shift is done and dusted. Anything that goes wrong on your watch is your responsibility, and I've already had my share of things go wrong that have not necessarily been under my control, but should have been. On the other hand, it's also tricky to hand over the reins and delegate tasks without worrying about whether they're going to get done properly. I'd still rather bite off more than I can chew and screw things up myself, than have nothing on my plate and be left worrying about whether everyone else can handle the things I've handballed to them.
I've realised that I went through a similar phase when I became a shift supervisor in waiterland. There were the benefits of being able to get other people to do my bidding, but sometimes it was just easier and less frustrating to do something for myself, because I knew I could get it done efficiently and effectively the first time around. I think I'd be a terrible teacher... I simply don't have the patience and tolerance every hour of every working day of the week. I'm at a weird in-between phase right now, where all the other LACs are far more established in their rank than I am, and I am nowhere near the calibre of the ACs that have all just started in the mess this year. Although I enjoy taking charge of a shift and being responsible for its smooth running, sometimes what I'd really prefer is the gentle art of following rather than leading.
I have a feeling that as time goes on, and more ACs come through the mess, I am going to miss making sandwiches.
