It sort of got to the point where three of my friends' parents knew about me getting enlisted before I'd even got around to telling my own, so today was the day to finally get down to business.
I was trying to leave it a little later because I didn't want to bear all the nitty gritty parental stuff for any longer than necessary. How wrong I was to assume there would be a big deal about getting in! I did think that neither of them took my news of training and applying seriously, because they might not have believed I could make it this far, but still... they were both sort of underwhelmed.
I caught up with my dad first, in an attempt to fill in the last details of my security clearance forms over a bowl of pho. He seemed more concerned about whether he had to state his relationship to/with my mum, told me that she would probably know the dates of things better than he did, and could remember about as well as I did about when exactly I went overseas. Not that a five-year-old could possibly come home as any great risk to national security, hey? I'm not sure whether I can get away with telling ASIO that even if my dad wanted to be a terrorist, he didn't have such a good memory for things he'd done a handful of years ago, so where's the threat there exactly?
We chatted briefly about where I was going to do my training, and mentioned how my brother might have applied for ADFA or something similar back in the day. I got the general vibe that dad was more into why my bro wasn't working full time doing something related to his degree, and whether I'd be able to clean and organise the house in time for departure, than the fact I might not be seeing him for a while. Or you know, regardless of my brother's possible attempts at getting into the ADF, I actually made it all the way in (forms pending)!
Later on in the afternoon I swung by mum's place, to see if my bro could get a bike light working, and in search of slightly more dramatic effect than I'd experienced so far. After getting the usual long time no see tirade, I was asked why I didn't come by for Mother's Day. Apart from being a terrible daughter for such an atrocity, I explained that I'd been fired from my penultimate job because they found out I was getting enlisted and wanted to replace me anyway. So I had to find another job quickly, and jumped right into it as soon as I could, which happened to be two days after I'd applied for it. What was the job? Working at a Spanish donuts joint for a few weeks, no big deal, just some cash to pull me through.
Mum pointed out that my stomach was sticking out of my clothes a little, wasn't I cold? I brought up the fact that my top was long enough, it's my favourite jeans getting saggy and baggy that result in accidental fleshage... yes, I knew that it would only take a minor alteration to make them fit correctly again, but I was going to throw them out before enlistment anyway. She asked why I had anything to do with donuts, pointed out that if I didn't get back into computers, I wouldn't have enough experience to get 'another computer job'. I repeated that I only needed a job for a short time, not a foot in the door for another failed IT career. I really have no idea whether she understands that I'm not just having an extended break from my degree or my office peon days, I am actually not going back there at all.
I played with the kittens for a few minutes, listened to mum report on which ones were getting fattest, and tried to find out where my bro was at. Couldn't get a hold of him, so I said I had somewhere else to be, and had to ride off. Ride off, did I say? Well, I was there trying to get a bike light happening. I ride bikes? Well, I'm trying to, but using a friend's bike in the meantime. I haven't ridden bikes in ages, and I'm attempting a ride at night? Yes, mum. Was she really that concerned about me getting smacked off a bike because I'm riding without a front light, as opposed to joining the Air Force? Apparently so, but I think that regardless of the statistics comparing bicycle deaths and injuries to RAAF casualties, the one person I expected a complete bombshell effect on had very little to give.
I'm glad that I'm old enough to not worry about getting parental approval to do the things I really want to do.
Monday, June 11
Friday, June 8
longest june ever
It's been a strange couple of weeks. I caught up with my enlistment coordinator while I was in the 'hood, thinking that if I asked her a few questions in person, I could get the answers I needed without having to play phone tag. Fortunately, she seemed in the right mood for a little bit of a diversion from other work, so we had a bit of a chat. Unfortunately, the 24-page security clearance forms that I thought were sent to me by mistake, still have to be filled in by me. I was told to be thankful that I'm only getting Confidential and not Top Secret clearance, but I am still wondering how many forms it would really take to convince anyone that one is not a terrorist or another variety of threat to national security.
I've learnt to stop thinking or saying that after a certain amount of paperwork is out of the way, I'm properly in. It seriously doesn't seem to end, and I know now that even after enlistment, there's still going to be more. I used to be one of those freaks that dig filling in forms, but I'm coming round now...
People have commented on how soon I'm leaving, which made me get off my butt to look at a calendar, now that I'm within counting-down-of-days range of my target. I don't know whether this was a particularly good idea or not, because it's only 24 to go. I keep trying to talk myself out of my tree by repeating that I don't have many things to buy, or that much to clean, or many affairs to sort out, and I'll be back in the state in ten weeks anyway. I have a feeling that other people are getting more excited and wound up on my behalf, which is a contrast to me just trying to stick my head down and live the rest of my civilian days well, as much like a civilian as possible.
I'm trying my best to stay low key at work, because I don't really want to bond too well with these guys before I leave them in a smattering of days, and I was totally burnt at my last job because I said I was getting enlisted soon. I don't even remember mentioning my enlistment date to the last employer, but I got the idea that they pretty much got rid of me before I could get rid of them, it was just a matter of time. I know that I'm easily replaceable at the current job, and they seem to be good guys of the sort I wouldn't normally intend to screw over by buggering off at short notice, but I really need money until I get whisked away. That's all there is to it.
It's been weird thinking about time in terms of 'in a few weeks'. I've looked at the diary that I've halfheartedly scrawled random appointments and happenings into so far this year, and it's like the next few months are going to either stay blank because I'll be busy training with guns and/or knives, or be blocked out with definite engagements such as catching up with homies or you know... graduation! The past few times I've seen friends, there's all sorts of things going on in their lives what with jobs, travel, houses and love, and in this moment I feel quite static.
I know it's odd to look at my peers and almost envy their flexibility and freedom to have such dynamic, unstructured lives, when there have been times in my own life where I've had the same opportunity and felt either lost or snowed under with mere possibilities. Even though all it takes is a breath and a moment to realise that my life isn't set in stone yet, it just feels like that in comparison to me faffing about for the last five years or so, I can't help but feel a little lame thinking about what books to take along with me to boot camp. Or what stationery I should buy to write letters back home on. Or whether I should shave my head or practice doing my hair in a military-compliant style.
I'm tricking myself into believing that it's going to be more boring than I think it will be, in case I get all hyped up for something that won't meet let alone exceed my expectations. I have a terrible habit for psyching myself into and out of things as I'm anticipating them. I'll usually throw myself headfirst into whatever in order to avoid the anticipation phase, and that actually works better for me most of the time. If I could figure out how to only talk things up when I'm nervous, that'd be pretty sweet.
I've learnt to stop thinking or saying that after a certain amount of paperwork is out of the way, I'm properly in. It seriously doesn't seem to end, and I know now that even after enlistment, there's still going to be more. I used to be one of those freaks that dig filling in forms, but I'm coming round now...
People have commented on how soon I'm leaving, which made me get off my butt to look at a calendar, now that I'm within counting-down-of-days range of my target. I don't know whether this was a particularly good idea or not, because it's only 24 to go. I keep trying to talk myself out of my tree by repeating that I don't have many things to buy, or that much to clean, or many affairs to sort out, and I'll be back in the state in ten weeks anyway. I have a feeling that other people are getting more excited and wound up on my behalf, which is a contrast to me just trying to stick my head down and live the rest of my civilian days well, as much like a civilian as possible.
I'm trying my best to stay low key at work, because I don't really want to bond too well with these guys before I leave them in a smattering of days, and I was totally burnt at my last job because I said I was getting enlisted soon. I don't even remember mentioning my enlistment date to the last employer, but I got the idea that they pretty much got rid of me before I could get rid of them, it was just a matter of time. I know that I'm easily replaceable at the current job, and they seem to be good guys of the sort I wouldn't normally intend to screw over by buggering off at short notice, but I really need money until I get whisked away. That's all there is to it.
It's been weird thinking about time in terms of 'in a few weeks'. I've looked at the diary that I've halfheartedly scrawled random appointments and happenings into so far this year, and it's like the next few months are going to either stay blank because I'll be busy training with guns and/or knives, or be blocked out with definite engagements such as catching up with homies or you know... graduation! The past few times I've seen friends, there's all sorts of things going on in their lives what with jobs, travel, houses and love, and in this moment I feel quite static.
I know it's odd to look at my peers and almost envy their flexibility and freedom to have such dynamic, unstructured lives, when there have been times in my own life where I've had the same opportunity and felt either lost or snowed under with mere possibilities. Even though all it takes is a breath and a moment to realise that my life isn't set in stone yet, it just feels like that in comparison to me faffing about for the last five years or so, I can't help but feel a little lame thinking about what books to take along with me to boot camp. Or what stationery I should buy to write letters back home on. Or whether I should shave my head or practice doing my hair in a military-compliant style.
I'm tricking myself into believing that it's going to be more boring than I think it will be, in case I get all hyped up for something that won't meet let alone exceed my expectations. I have a terrible habit for psyching myself into and out of things as I'm anticipating them. I'll usually throw myself headfirst into whatever in order to avoid the anticipation phase, and that actually works better for me most of the time. If I could figure out how to only talk things up when I'm nervous, that'd be pretty sweet.
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